The Military Spouse
When talking about a military spouse, it’s hard to know where to start. Military spouses invariably have harder jobs than their wives or husbands who are in the military. Why do I say this? If you are the spouse of an active-duty member, or even worse, a member of the National Guard or reserves, you know what I’m talking about. These spouses have to be prepared for that phone call that the service member is deploying at a moment’s notice. Then all of the sudden, they become both the mom and dad. They become one person with all the responsibilities of two people laid on them all at once. Then they sit by the phone or computer all hours of the day and night just to hear three words: “I am ok.” They sit and hear and see the news showing the war their spouse is fighting in to protect their freedom. There is no way anybody can imagine what a spouse goes through when they get that unfortunate knock on the door from a chaplain and other military members giving them the news that their spouse has been wounded or worse. I know because my mother and son have been there twice, and it is devastating.
Honor Their Commitment
The spouse of a military member always has such a large commitment; there is no vacation or leave of absence. They have to stay prepared and their support has such a deep call of duty for their spouse. They stay concerned and on edge, knowing their spouse could be called for a deployment at any minute. They spend hours writing letters and emails not to just say I love you and miss you, but to keep their spouse involved in what’s going on at home. They are committed to keeping their spouse worry-free, so they can do their job and get home safe. They attend Family Readiness Meetings to help others in similar situations. They rely on their deployed spouse to keep them updated about their well being even though they know their deployed spouse will rarely be honest and say, “it is dangerous, and we lost a soldier today.”
How Do We Thank Them?
Honestly, it is tough knowing how to thank military spouses. We can send flowers or gifts. We can make phone calls, Face time, send emails. However, there will never be enough ways to thank them or compensate for all of the emotional stress and pain they go through to watch their spouse board a plane and say goodbye for who knows how long. How can you ever adequately thank the person who takes on all your responsibilities and theirs for months at a time? I have a few suggestions:
- Give that spouse the military spouse award.
- Be honest and true while at home or away.
- Take time every day to show your deepest gratitude and to remind them that without their help, you wouldn’t be able to survive.
As a military member and a military spouse, you will not be able to truly complete your mission without that spouse’s support every day at home. Why not take them in front of your largest formation and let everybody see who your rock is. Show them the person that stands behind you and supports you through thick and thin, better or worse. I have unfortunately been in a Wounded Warrior facility for some time now. Every day I see spouses of veterans and their support. They become more than just a wife or husband; they become caregivers. They feed you, bathe you, watch over you, and even though they’re not physically wounded or injured on the outside, they are on the inside. Watching you struggle to walk makes them sad. They go through numerous surgery waiting rooms to find out that you’re going to lose your leg or arm or that there is nothing more that can be done. They relentlessly help and provide for you. And they are grateful to be there for us all. I urge each military member to thank their spouse and observe a military spouse holiday so that they can be thanked and appreciated the same as we are. They deserve far more than a medal or reward. They deserve our respect, honor, and loyalty returned greater than we receive. On behalf of all military service members and Low VA Rates, I’d like to say thank you to every military spouse out there!
